Duties - (haha, I said duty)

How do you have the household duties separated in your house?

DO you have them separated? Do both spouses work, or does one stay at home? In school?

This is a conversation that came up playfully this morning between my husband and I. Recently we decided that I am going to go back to school. I have been there before, working full time and in school.

Its doable. But hard. 

I don't have any appropriate pics to go with this post, so here are some from a marketing program I have :)

My work has been slow here of late, so I have actually had the luxury of doing things around the house, and not being exhausted when I do it.  I'll admit it. I really enjoy all things at home, when I have the time to do them. Cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, bill paying, (well may I don't enjoy bill paying, but its not as stressful when I have the time to sit, think and plan while I do it).

I do not enjoy being the sole bill payer, shopper, cleaner, and cooker when I work long hard hours. Throw school on top of that and its  a no go.

I have had this conversation with my husband before. I need help. I work as much (some times more) then him. It is not fair. He claims I am better at (insert whatever he does not want to do here)  then he, which is true, because he refuses to try. Or blatantly does a bad job so I will not ask him to do it again.

Not fair.

Pretty pretty please do something....

I have recently seen this same situation from a different perspective. My young married niece and her husband of just over a year have this same problem.  The husband moved straight from his parents house to living with his wife. While I love that they waited until marriage to live together, I also know there was no adjustment period for him. He never learned how to do these things for himself. Or just how much of a pain in the butt it is. She didn't expect to become wife, mother, maid, personal shopper, accountant, butler, and laundromat to him.

Now they are having a baby. She is in a panic. She works, is in school, handles their bills, chores, cooking, shopping, and still manages to find time to be good to her family. She is quite a girl. And she can't figure out how to get him to do his part. He is ecstatic about the baby, since its just a wonderful new addition to him. Not an addition of chores and duties.

What happened that this generation of women was chosen to not only be a partner in supporting the household financially, but also the sole homemaker as well? I realize there are many couples that have this worked out to mutual satisfaction (If you are one please tell me how to do it!!!).

Maybe its a southern thing? Men here are slower to realize that their mothers, who stayed at home and handled those household duties, stayed at home. They didn't work full time. Or go to school full time. They worked in the home. Which I think is wonderful. However, it is different then being all things at all times. Only one can do that, and it sure as heck isn't anyone here!!!

My husband when I ask him to do something. Oops,  I mean, a gorilla. 

Until recently my husband and I always said that whoever is making more money will be the one to continue to work while the other stays at home when we have kids. Now that children are on the horizon (hopefully) he has suddenly changed his tune. Mm hmm.....

When we get this figured out I'll let you know! And I'll probably become ridiculously rich I find the all in one answer to this question! Hardy har...